I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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