I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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