It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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