YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize
