If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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