Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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