Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
