If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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