i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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