Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
