She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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