His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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