why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
