if only i could text you this smell
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
