No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
