how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
