i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
