would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
