I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
