Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
