i would punch a child for taco bell
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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