Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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