For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize