I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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