There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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