The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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