the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
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It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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