I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
