i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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