bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
