apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
