well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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