i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Randomize
