How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize