We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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