no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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