I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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