Dual....:-)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
