As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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