all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
