he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
