i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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