I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
