SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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