just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
