What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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