I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
