youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
