Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
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Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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