I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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