you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
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