$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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