who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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