I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
