Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
