You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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