My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
