I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
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did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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